"Intervention is not a "confrontation" but a well organized expression of genuine concern for a person that is sick with a chronic illness."
from Intervention-Helping Alcoholic/Addict Blog
They are not a bad person trying to get good, but a sick person trying to get well.
Offer a solution(treatment) as a choice, not a demand.
CARE ACRONYM
o COMMUNICATE: Confront the specific problems with the person. Discuss the facts and possible causes. Don't keep secrets and feed into the ability of the addicted person to compartmentalize their lives.
o AFFIRM: Express your concern and desire to help the person, providing that they are willing to make a change. Support self-efficacy and validate any incremental change. Learn to listen and listen to learn. Roll with resistance.
o RESPOND: Refocus on the problem at hand, the facts, outcomes and possible consequences. Say what you mean, mean what you say, don't say it mean. Don't get caught up in the insanity of the addicted person. They are master manipulators who get what they want.
o ENACT: Discuss with the person the corrective course of action and how you will support their recovery. Do not issue mandates or ultimatums unless you intend to enforce it. You may have to hurt their feelings in order to save their life.
Key Points
Addiction thrives in secrecy, therefore, by confronting the situation you are no longer enabling the addicted person. If the person is not ready to accept help then you must learn to detach with love and let go of the outcome. In our love for others we often unintentionally provide a safety net that prevents one from facing the full consequences of their addiction. Hopefully the denial will be smashed which acts as a buffer from dealing with the reality of their situation.
The addicted person is often the last one to know that they have a problem as they are caught up in a cycle of pain, blame and shame. They are not a bad person trying to get good, but a sick person trying to get well.
Loved ones need to participate in the recovery process as it applies to them.
Learn to set boundaries and say no regardless of the reaction of the addicted person. Read literature such as Co-dependency by Melody Beattie and attend Al-Anon or Narc-Anon to support the changes that you are going to have to make.
ENABLING: Behaviors that allow the disease to continue. Friends and family members are also in denial as they secretly deny the seriousness of the problem and excuse it.
These people are acting out of a misguided sense of loyalty of wanting to protect the person but end up enabling the disease, allowing progression to occur.
FAMILY & FRIENDS INTERVENE
Loved ones are gathered together to confront the addicted person. The process is designed to convey love and concern and not anger and resentment. Each person takes an opportunity to state his/her concerns backed up by actual events that causes concern and a desire for the person to seek treatment. This should be provided in verbal and written form (3 copies).
Serenity Ranch offers a family and friends program to help you support their recovery after they are done treatment.
CONSEQUENCES: The impact of the intervention is its ability to create the "crisis" in the addicted person's life to a point where the person sees treatment as the only option. If the person chooses not to engage, then some significant consequences go into effect. In general the participants withdraw their support until the person seeks help. This is not punishment but an attempt to allow the person to feel the full consequences of their behavior. Friends and family may have to "detach with love" in order to protect themselves from the often abusive or manipulative behavior of the ill person. The family cannot control drug / alcohol use but they can control their response to it.
It is not about creating new problems for them just helping them to see the problems they have and helping them see the solution.
